3 is the magic number!By The Creator on Dec 03, 2013 in Online Dating Messages Comments: 0. Tags:
As you are no doubt aware, online dating is for the most part a social networking game. Where at times it certainly feels like a mad melody of supply & demand driven by the gullible few. And one sure kiss of death for a budding online dating relationship is trying to move way too fast and way too furious instead of trying to stealth through this subculture by literally carpet bombing every potential suitor with whimsical cyberflirts.
It’s actually sad to see so many grown men pathetically eager to jockey, jostle and peacock profusely just to dominate male pecking order — just chill.
The most important thing you can do is just to simply go with flow, enjoying the excitement and lowering your expectations… and then being pleasantly surprised.
Don’t expect an immediate response. Many women who date online use an email account which they may only check a couple of times per week. So if you write daily wondering why they haven’t responded yet, you’ll not only look too eager or desperate, you’ll likely scare them off with your intensity.
Guys, please realize that there are far more men than women on most sites and women get many more times the responses as guys do. She’ll likely need a little time to wade through the responses to find her man. Also remember that the old social convention of “the guys do the chasing” is still very true on the Internet. If your email box isn’t overflowing, just get out there and write to your dream girl; she’s probably waiting for you to make the first move.
A word of warning though, I’ve been in this game long enough to know that the moment you enter this big wide world of online dating, it’s like being a kid again in a candy store.
So here’s my rule of 3 which you need to remember before things escalate out of control
THREE Prospect Rule
Don’t juggle more than 3 online date prospects at a time. Most guys try to juggle way too many and have difficulty keeping them all in check. It’s acceptable (and usually understood) to interact with more than one person and even date more than one before you become exclusive. Be straight, be honest about dating others and don’t string them along. Record facts and conversations in your journal or your head will hurt trying to keep them straight. As soon as you sense there’s not a fit, let them know and move on.
THREE Emails Rule
Ideally, you want to ask a woman out as soon as possible to move the relationship from the virtual-world to the real-world. But you cannot tell her to do this or even hint it too soon. On the other hand, you should not wait forever. I think the exchange of at least three emails to everyone who interests you is about right. Sometimes guys will get overly excited and may want to meet right away. Keep the relationship online until you’re reasonably sure that there’s enough compatibility to carry a conversation and have a fun time together. Sadly guys will hang in there way too long, sometimes as long as six months because they don’t know how to follow-through.
So, you write three times, she responds back three times then on the fourth email, you simply escalate to the next level by asking to meet up.
If she trails off before three emails, then she really wasn’t that interested. Remember, the goal here is to leave her wanting to know more about you. Besides for me personally by the time I’ve written 3 emails I’m usually pretty much spot-on to determining whether my date will be absolutely delightful, or a narcissistic serial cyber dating meal-ticket parasite or some psychologically deranged women who’s unable to separate the randomness of cyberspace from reality!
THREE Questions Rule
There’s a lot to be learned from emails, therefore its vitally important that you ask at least three key questions per email aimed at discovering compatibility. When online dating, asking lots of questions is not considered “nosy,” it’s an essential sign of interest. How else can you get to know each other?
Can she write a complete sentence?
Does she have anything interesting/funny/smart to say?
What words does she use in her sentences, thereby identifying her interest/humour/intelligence?
If you do run into someone who is uncomfortable answering questions, you should consider it a red flag and ask yourself if you really want to date them.
Of course you have to be cautious in what you ask – don’t get too personal at first.